Thursday, June 28, 2007

Our Bitter-Sweet Day

On Monday we had an appointment for Logan to attempt to get a good hearing test before we resort to the sedation test. It's been a challenge in the past because the test requires that he participate in a little listening game to get accurate results, and most of the time, he just had better things to do! Well, this time, he was perfect and did just what he was supposed to do. The bad news is that the test revealed that he has now lost a significant amount of hearing since being first diagnosed. He is now considered "deaf" instead of "hard of hearing". The doctors told us that with the type of hearing loss he had, that there was a chance it could get worse. I guess I just didn't expect it to happen so soon. As the doctor proceeded to tell us of the results of the test my mind began to wander. I began to think of the past year and all of the hard work we have put in to his speech and listening skills, only to find out, none of it had been doing any good. I thought of how close he was getting to being able to say "Mommy", something I have longed for, but then realizing that this might be as good as it gets. As tears began to come to not only my eyes, but to Jake's as well, good news came from the doctor. Logan was now a candidate for Cochlear Implants. A cochlear implant is very different from a hearing aid. Instead of simply amplifying sound, it creates signals that the brain interprets as sound, making it ideal for people who have little or no hearing. Cochlear implants use a device called an external speech processor, worn outside the ear, to capture sound and convert the sound into digital signals. Those signals are then sent to a surgically implanted electronic receiver inside the head, which tells the implant to stimulate the electrodes inside the cochlea (inner ear). The brain then recognizes these signals as sound. The implants have a very high success rate and we are very hopeful. It is very scary for me because this is a major surgery and if it doesn't take, we can't go back to hearing's basically all or nothing. We are hoping to get the surgery done by the end of the summer, but nothing is for sure yet.

I look at my sweet son and hurt for him inside at what he is missing out on. Things like hearing "I love you" or when he makes his baby brother laugh, but I am grateful for his example and outlook on life and more importantly, a loving Heavenly Father who has brought us to this point of hope that all is going to be well.

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