Already?

People stare at Logan's "ear" all the time, I have just come accustom to it. It doesn't bother me, it never has. Logan's CI is what makes him special, unique and I want him to grow up knowing that and appreciating it. I actually prefer it when strangers (politely) ask about it rather than point and whisper. I have had many different assumptions from people as to "what is on his head."

I actually did have someone say to me, "How cute! He wants to be a big boy with his pretend bluetooth." I thought this story was outrageous, but I guess the CI does look quite similar. I have also had someone ask me, "What kind of brain disorder does your son have?" And one of my most memorable was when we were at Disneyland last year and a man came to me and said he wanted to pray for my son to heal him and give him blessings. He proceeded to lay his hands on Logan's head and pray. I interrupted him and explained that the Lord had already "healed" him by providing a way for him to hear and that this little device was our blessing. Children are my favorite. We have been in the check-out lines many times when a young child will ask out loud, to his mother, "What is that thing on his ear?" The mothers are always extremely embarrassed and either ignore their child or whisper to them that it is not polite to say things like that. I always smile and go forward with telling the child that when Logan was born his ears didn't work so well, so now he gets to wear this cool blinking thing on his ear to help him hear and learn to talk like other children.

Again, none of this has ever bothered me . . . until I saw it bother Logan. He, too, has adjusted well to wearing the implant-it's a part of his every day. But the other day we were in the post office and this older woman was staring at Logan's implant. I smiled at her and then looked at Logan only to notice that he was covering up his implant with his hand and burying his head into me. I asked him what was wrong and he pointed to his ear and then pointed to the woman. She quickly turned away and I apologized to her, as to which she did the same. It broke my heart. When did Logan become self conscience about his implant? Logan has always thought his implant was cool, with the blinking light and the cool stickers. I wonder why that changed. We thought that this would possibly become an issue as he grows older, and we have prepared ourselves to maybe have to deal with this in the future. He is only 3 1/2 years old, and it is already starting. As silly as it sounds, this was actually one of my concerns about getting a second implant...he would no longer have a side of his head that looked normal.

I think sometimes we forget what a miracle this really has been. I am grateful for the opportunity to share our joy with others. Logan is by no means speaking "normally" so we forget how far he has actually come. We are coming up on Logan's 1 year "hearing birthday" and are still astonished and amazed when something new comes out of his mouth. We know how blessed he is and we will make sure that he knows that as well as he grows and continues on his journey.