Sunday, February 24, 2008
So, I needed an extra day to come to a decision. Jake has always felt good about doing a second implant, but I wanted to be sure for myself before we went ahead with the surgery. So many things have been going through my head. Right now when you look at Logan you see "Logan", I was afraid that with two implants you'd look at him and see the implants instead of him. I didn't want to take that away from him, but I would hate myself if I didn't give him the chance to be his best self. I also didn't want him to have to sit in the front of the class room just to do well in school. I wanted him to have the chance to be as "normal" as possible. I actually told a friend of mine that I felt like a bad mother because I couldn't come to a decision on something that should be so obvious. Thursday night Jake and I knelt down and asked for a feeling of peace with going through with the second surgery. Friday morning was "Sibling Day" at Logan's school so Tanner was able to miss school and come with us. Jake also had his patient cancel, so he came along too. Tanner attended a class for siblings of deaf children. They taught them a lot about the disability and things to do to help their brothers/sisters learn to speak. After the class, Tanner asked me if Logan had two implants would it help him talk better and if so, he really wanted him to have two. . .and that's when the peace came. I knew then that the right decision was to have the surgery done. We are going to try to rush the process, so hopefully we can get a surgery date soon. I’m still a little nervous, the last surgery is still too fresh on my mind, but he’s such a brave little boy, I have no doubt he’ll do great.