Do you hear what I hear?...

Yesterday, Logan's world changed. He is hearing! We went in this morning to have his CI turned on. They first, hooked the device up to a computer to activate it and he was just hearing clicks and beeps. It was a great experience to see his little eyebrows raise when that first little bit of sound entered in. Once the audiologist turned it on she told us to go ahead and speak. I was slightly emotional and motioned to Jake to go first. He called Logan's name and his head turned towards Jake. After a while he began to ignore the noise and our voices. To Logan, it was no big deal and he just continued on playing with his puzzle. What?! That was it? Just a simple turn of the head? What about jumping up & down with excitement, asking for more sound, running into my arms? Well, I guess he is only 2 1/2, and actually, all that noise is probably not as pleasant as you might think.
So, he kept the implant on until about 2:00 (only because we were consistently bribing him to do so). He was playing in his room when I went in to check on him and noticed that he was not wearing it. I gave him a look and he signed, "Where? Where? I don't know." He was obviously guilty. So after 20 minutes of searching the playroom, I found it hidden under his mattress in his bedroom! He signed that he was all done with it and didn't like his new ear. I started to cry and left the room. He didn't like it? He didn't want to hear all these wonderful sounds? It broke my heart. My husband had to remind me that this is going to be a marathon, not a sprint and that it's okay to take it slow. I want so much for him to say "Mommy" that I guess I may be pushing him too much. All in all it was a good day. This device is pretty complex for such a little guy, but I'm sure he'll adjust. He watched a movie today and started dancing when he heard the music...loved it! Sorry for all the video, it's a lot of us yelling Logan's name and him turning his head:) )
CLICK ON PICTURE TO WATCH VIDEO

Logan's activation day

The Morning of Surgery...

The Morning of Surgery...

(sorry they're sideways)

We made it through the day!

Well, It is now almost 11:00 and we think Logan is out for the night and since so many of you have called inquiring about our day (thanks so much), I thought I'd give a brief summary of today's events before getting some much needed sleep myself. He was awesome at the hospital before the surgery. All of the preparing, that we thought wouldn't do much good, was a big help. We have been using "Donkey" as the patient and Logan as the doctor to show Logan what would happen the day of surgery--don't worry, we left out the details of the actual surgery! :) The nurses said that when it was time to put on the oxygen mask, to put him to sleep, he knew just what to do and wasn't scared. The surgery went great but when he woke up, he was quite upset with everyone who came within 5 feet of him! He proceeded to rip off anything that was attached to his body including his IV in his hand, which left Dad in a shirt covered in blood! I had a weak moment as a mother and couldn't take the sight of my brave little boy in so much pain and had to leave. I felt like I had just done this with Chase and wasn't ready to do it again. I had a quick meltdown in the elevator, got my composure back and went back to be with Jake and Logan. He came home around 3:00 and it has been a rough night, but he is doing well. I have been thinking about the end result of all of this and can hardly tame my excitement. He will be hooked up on December 4th--that is when the hearing will begin. I have made a list of all the things I want my baby boy to hear; the voices of his family, me telling him I love him, an airplane, a train, the beach, music, Disneyland rides, making his baby brother laugh...the list goes on and on. I know I'll need to take it slow and not expose him to all those things at once, how frightening, don't you think? :) Anyway, sorry for the long post tonight and for all of the photos. We are very proud and excited of our strong little boy. Thanks for sharing our excitement.

This is Logan and his WONDERFUL speech therapist, Jessica, practicing for the surgery.

This is "Dr. Logan" and his "patient", Donkey. He has his head bandaged and the oxygen mask on!

...checking his heartbeat.

Logan and Donkey ready for surgery.
The aftermath...


Donkey got to go into surgery with Logan and the nurses dressed him up like the doctors.


Finally at home.

After having two doses of his medication, he laid like this for about 30 minutes determined to not let any more medicine get in!

He gets very dizzy when he walks around, so he crawls around instead!

Good Night...finally!

I can't sleep...

I can't sleep...I'm extremely nervous for Logan's surgery in the morning. I have vacuumed 6 six times today, washed the knives by hand twice, organized the towel closet and folded the dirty clothes in the hamper (those are just the odd things that were done) all to keep me busy today. I have packed and re-packed his hospital bag and am afraid that I will forget something important, like his favorite car or toy dinosaur. Why am I freaking out? What a dummy I am. Jake is no better, he is in the front room switching the TV back and forth between music videos on VH1 and a soccer game commentated in Spanish. It is now 2 am and I am going to try get some shut eye before we have to leave for the hospital at 7 :15 am. Thanks for all your sweet comments and prayers. It always amazes me what great friends we have. I love you all. I will post again after the big day...

THREE MORE DAYS!!

Only three more days until Logan's life-changing surgery. We are excited, but extremely nervous. I've been doing some more research on the cochlear implants and found these simulations on what speech sounds like to an implanted person. It's kind of interesting!

click on www.pbs.org/saf/1205/features/Interactive/channel22.htm and click on listen to 22 channels.

While listening to this one, www.hei.org/research/aip/decrease_channels.mp3 , you'll first hear the phrase as a normal hearing person hears it, then the second one is at 22 channels-what Logan will hear. The phrase will repeat at 18 channels, 12 channels, and so forth.

We finally have a surgery date for Logan...
November 7th!
YEAH!!

Logan's CT Scan

One of the steps needed before getting Logan's surgery done is a CT scan. We had it done on Thursday and he did great. They had to sedate him to do the procedure, so he couldn't eat anything after 6am. I woke him up at 5:30 and let him eat a big pancake and eggs breakfast. He was so tired, that he could barely lift the fork, but I didn't want him to have to go all night and day without eating. After the test, he was groggy after waking up, but perked right up when the nurse offered him a lollipop. He became a little loopy as we walked to the car, it was quite entertaining!!

Logan's new ears

When Logan sees someone singing or dancing on the TV, he knows that there is music, and he puts his ear and hands on the speaker to feel the vibrations. The first time I saw this, it broke my heart.
Many of you have asked about Logan's upcoming surgery for the Cochlear Implants. We are still in the process. It is usually a 8-10 month process that we are trying to do in 3 months! We were hoping to have both ears done simultaneously, but that could postpone the process even longer, because it is harder for the insurance to approve that. So we will probably just do one ear at a time. The longer we wait, the more his speech will be delayed, so we need to get it done as soon as possible. I am very nervous about the surgery and worried how Logan will react to all this new sound. It can't be half bad living in a world of silence! :) They say many children take a long time to adjust to the implants because they don't like all the noise that they are not use to hearing. He was given more powerful hearing aids, while he waits for the surgery, which give him a little bit of sound. He has not enjoyed that too much. The first week of having the new "ears" (that's what we call them) I found them in the garbage 4 different times!

Our Bitter-Sweet Day

On Monday we had an appointment for Logan to attempt to get a good hearing test before we resort to the sedation test. It's been a challenge in the past because the test requires that he participate in a little listening game to get accurate results, and most of the time, he just had better things to do! Well, this time, he was perfect and did just what he was supposed to do. The bad news is that the test revealed that he has now lost a significant amount of hearing since being first diagnosed. He is now considered "deaf" instead of "hard of hearing". The doctors told us that with the type of hearing loss he had, that there was a chance it could get worse. I guess I just didn't expect it to happen so soon. As the doctor proceeded to tell us of the results of the test my mind began to wander. I began to think of the past year and all of the hard work we have put in to his speech and listening skills, only to find out, none of it had been doing any good. I thought of how close he was getting to being able to say "Mommy", something I have longed for, but then realizing that this might be as good as it gets. As tears began to come to not only my eyes, but to Jake's as well, good news came from the doctor. Logan was now a candidate for Cochlear Implants. A cochlear implant is very different from a hearing aid. Instead of simply amplifying sound, it creates signals that the brain interprets as sound, making it ideal for people who have little or no hearing. Cochlear implants use a device called an external speech processor, worn outside the ear, to capture sound and convert the sound into digital signals. Those signals are then sent to a surgically implanted electronic receiver inside the head, which tells the implant to stimulate the electrodes inside the cochlea (inner ear). The brain then recognizes these signals as sound. The implants have a very high success rate and we are very hopeful. It is very scary for me because this is a major surgery and if it doesn't take, we can't go back to hearing aids...it's basically all or nothing. We are hoping to get the surgery done by the end of the summer, but nothing is for sure yet.


I look at my sweet son and hurt for him inside at what he is missing out on. Things like hearing "I love you" or when he makes his baby brother laugh, but I am grateful for his example and outlook on life and more importantly, a loving Heavenly Father who has brought us to this point of hope that all is going to be well.

ABR testing

When you have a child that is disabled, it sometimes takes a while to admit or even say that word. I usually think of people who are severely handicapped whenever that word comes up, not people like Logan.
A few weeks ago we spent the afternoon at the workshop/picnic for the LA DHH (Deaf and Hard of Hearing) program, which Logan belongs to. They usually have them twice a year, but we have never attended. I'd always tell myself, "That's not us. We aren't really like those other people, Logan is different." But after finally attending...I realized that we are part of that community. I spent most of the afternoon in tears as I watched Logan interact with other children, also with hearing loss. I watched as some of the older kids signed to him to tell him they liked the car stickers on his hearing aids and how he thought that was neat. I watched how the group signed fun songs, much of which he could understand. I loved how he made instant friends with other 2 and 3 year olds because it was so easy to communicate with them. I talked with other parents who understand what a challenge this has been and also who gave me encouragement that the things that I wish for Logan, can actually become a reality.

LOGAN'S SPEECH THERAPIST, JESSICA

It has been a frustrating year for us as we have come to believe that Logan is still not hearing, even with his hearing aids in. When he was first diagnosed I had no idea how many daily and simple things would be affected by his inability to hear. We have been blessed to have him be such a happy and energetic kid who doesn't get frustrated easily.We have been waiting for months to have an ABR (auditory brainstem response) test done. It's a test that they don't like to do very often because it requires that the child be sedated. It will tell his exactly what his hearing abilities are and if his hearing loss has become worse. This will be a big step for us in being able to go forward with his progress. We are scheduled for July 23 and we couldn't be more excited.